Balancing Grad School and Getting Married

Q: How do you suggest my fiancé and I handle getting married as well as going to Grad school?

Gary: My first suggestion is postpone the marriage. If you are 20 years old and already applying to graduate schools you must be exceedingly smart. So use your smarts, don’t get married till you both have been accepted into graduate schools and have part time jobs. This will give you a realistic idea of how much time will be left over for your relationship. You have plenty of time for marriage. Why not finish graduate school before you get married. If, however, you decide to get married while still in school, I can tell you from experience that you will have minimal time for each other. I got married at 23 while in graduate school and we had some very difficult years. Before you get married, talk with at least two couples who got married while in graduate school. They will give you realistic advice.

How to Marry the “Right” Person?

Do I have a soul mate or should I simply choose a good person?

This is more than a question, as the question determines your attitude and approach to dating and marriage. Is there another question that might lead to a more successful outcome?

How well do we communicate? The answer to this third question really expands your ability to build a relationship and even resolve even the largest challenges when they come. Small challenges like where to eat, choices for movies or dominance controlling the remote control can either give hints whether your relationship communication is growing or dissolving. Begin by understanding your hidden language, the hidden language of your relationship and begin building bridges. True connection in communication leads to benefits from the kitchen table to the bedroom. Peak level communication builds bonds in relationship well worth investing time and focus!

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